I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
