drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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