They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Sext me about skeletons
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
