Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement 😭😂
God, I missed his penis.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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