My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Randomize
