If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Randomize
