Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
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