TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
