Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
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