i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
