ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Randomize
