Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Randomize
