bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
