I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
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