I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Randomize
