Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
