then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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