I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Randomize
