Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
Randomize
