And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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