im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
