I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Randomize
