How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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