Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
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