SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Randomize
