I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
