Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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