see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
MIDGETS
????
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
