Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
