Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Enjoy the penises
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
