So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Randomize
