It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Randomize
