Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
