I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
