I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
