but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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