need another drink. this is the easiest way
The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
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