I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
