please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Randomize
