No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
