It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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