Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
