careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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