We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Randomize
