weddingsv make me drug and hornr
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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