I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Randomize
