I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Randomize
