Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
