I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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