i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
