ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Just pee around me
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
