Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
The beers last night were like the tears from god
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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