Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Randomize
