omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Randomize
