Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
